Who knows? Have patience. Go where you must go, and hope!Gandalf, Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
I feel like I started a pagan journey when I was twelve but got lost somewhere along the way. Like I’ve just been wandering around without a destination. But I’m thirty-two now, and everything that stopped me in my youth is no longer an issue. There are no judgmental classmates to laugh at me, no adults rolling their eyes because they think I’m just jumping on the latest rebellious fad, and no hormones or peer pressure telling me to conform if I want to survive. Sure, there are still a few people in my life who might raise an eyebrow or an argument, but we’re adults here. If they trust that I’m a good person, they’ll trust what I decide to spend my energy on. If they can’t accept me, that’s on them. The most I can do is not flaunt my preferred lifestyle in front of them (and honestly, I’m not ready for that anyway).
However, I am ready to point myself in a direction and do whatever it takes to get there. Right this moment, my main goal is to reconnect with my beliefs. And that means discovering what exactly it is that I believe in and what path calls to me.
For the purpose of this blog/journal, I’m going to start from the beginning, as if I am a complete newcomer to everything. It’s the easiest way to ensure I do this right. I love the below image because it’s so true: once you’ve started something, you can never truly “start over.” You can only start again. There are a few things I’ve been doing for years and a few things I learned in my brief stint at the magical circle school (remind me to do a post on that later) but for the most part, I’m starting from a clear slate with a “guide” of mild experience. 😉
Tools and Materials
I’m essentially letting myself start from scratch. And honestly you can, too, if you’re new to all this. Most witchy things don’t require a ton of materials, and everything you do use can either be substituted or ultimately omitted. In my experience, most of the tools and materials you might use in a ritual or for a spell are there to enhance your thoughts and intentions, like an amplifier. So you can definitely work without them, but they will make the energy you use a lot stronger and more effective.
But just because I can work without something doesn’t mean I’ll always want to. Which is why, even though I don’t have a collection of herbs beyond what I cook with in the kitchen (which are totally valid to use, by the way), in the next month or two I’m going to plant a bunch of seeds and sprouts and see what I can get growing. Having a flourishing herb garden is one of my life dreams.
I have a small collection of crystals and gemstones that I’ve collected over the years, but all except two are very tiny. I know they still count, but I’d love to expand this collection one day. Sadly, for now, crystals will be a lower priority for me because they tend to be a bit more expensive.
Candles are probably the one thing I do have in abundance, and in a few varying colors, too. But I don’t know what purpose each color corresponds to. All I know for sure is that when you don’t have the exact color or aren’t sure what to use, you can’t go wrong with white. It’s sort of the ultimate balance between all the colors. So I think I’m okay on candles for a bit.
With the small kids in my house who like to touch and play with everything, I don’t have a permanent altar area that stays set up or anything. And right now, I’m really not comfortable with having something like that set up until I rediscover my preferences and what I lean toward.
Even though I’m starting from scratch with everything else, this is one area I’m going into with some experience. I have a few decks of tarot cards, some that I’ve used for years. My mother gave me my first deck when I was a teenager, and since then I’ve bought and been given three more with a long wish list of other decks I’m interested in having. I also have The Everything Tarot Book, which has been my companion book since the day I bought it. I’ve never connected with another source the way I did with this one.
I’m going to begin this journal by studying the tarot cards of my favorite and most personal deck, Crystal Visions Tarot. I’ll go into more detail on how I chose this deck in another post. 🙂 But I feel that starting with the tarot is the best course of action for me. It’s one of the things I connect with the most and feel the most comfortable with. It also might be one of the most personal aspects of pagan practices that I’ve ever experienced.
One of the best ways to learn is to read, and I have no shortage of books on witchcraft! Years ago a friend of mine supplied me with a ton of witchy e-books that I still haven’t found time to read, and over the years I’ve been given a lot of fascinating paperbacks on crystals, green witchcraft, magical herbs, and witchcraft 101. Now that I’m opening myself up to all this, maybe I’ll finally find time to read a few! 🙂 I’ll probably start with all the ones written by Scott Cunningham, as he was a highly recommended author.
Anyway, that’s where I’m starting. As you can see, it doesn’t take much to make the decision to learn and start yourself on a path. Honestly in this day and age, you can learn most of everything online anyway. The rest of it comes from within yourself and from practicing. I hope you’ll make this journey with me.
Until next time, stay magical. ❤